Teen Motivation 101 - The Secret of My Success

The secret of my success really isn't a secret at all. When I say success, I am not talking about money, status, or power. I am speaking about fulfilling a dream or accomplishing a goal. Anyone who has achieved any amount of success knows that it comes from a combination of factors. I like to think it results from applying the three C's, equally as potent and essential as the vitamin: confidence, courage, and commitment.

What does confidence have to do with being successful? Everything. Whether you intend to or not, you leave an impression everywhere you go. When you lack confidence, everyone can see it in your facial expression, your body language, and the way you carry yourself. If you do not believe that you are talented, intelligent, capable, valuable, or worthwhile, it will be hard to convince someone else that you are. However, when you have a positive self-image, people take notice right away. The way you view yourself is the way others will view you, as well.

When I began teaching high school, I was not sure what to expect. I did not go to college with the intent of becoming a teacher. Therefore, I had not taken any education courses or had any formal training in teaching. During my interview, the vice principal commented on the firmness of my handshake. I did not give him a wimpy, wet noodle handshake. I gave him a solid shake and looked him directly in the eyes. He was impressed! He told me that my handshake sent a strong message-confidence. The first day I entered my classroom, I knew I would need to show the same level of confidence. I stood in front of my students determined not to let them break me. After two weeks, I realized two fundamental truths that have helped me throughout my teaching career. First, I will also be older and wiser than the students I teach. No matter how intelligent they are, wisdom comes from experience. Second, I am the expert in my classroom. Once you see yourself as a wise, old, expert, confidence comes easily.

Courage, however, does not always come as effortlessly. Poet, Edgar A. Guest, says "[c]ourage must come from the soul within." It is often referred to as guts, nerve, or boldness. I believe confidence and courage are a package deal. In my experience, if you are confident in your ability, you are more willing to take the risk. Whenever you are pursing your dream, there is always a risk involved. There is always going to be the chance that you will fail. However, there is always the possibility that you will succeed. The only way to find out what will happen is to actually do it. Taking action is the major difference between those who live out their dream and those who talk about it. Those who live out their dream may have felt afraid, but they did not let fear stop them from moving forward. In the end, the important question you must ask yourself is: Am I more afraid of never seeing my dream become a reality than I am of trying to make it a reality?

Surprisingly, sometimes the sweetest success often comes after many failures. Of course, it feels good to get it right the first time. However, there is often an important lesson to be learned in the process of attaining success. Many people never learn the lesson because they never start the journey or they give up too early in the process. For instance, between junior high and high school, I tried out for cheerleading three times before I made it. After practicing with some girls who were on the squad, I finally learned how to do the moves correctly and made it. From that experience, I learned that asking for help can make a huge difference. I believe that the level of commitment you have will determine your level of success. If at first you don't succeed, don't stop until you do! The only goals in my life I did not accomplish are the goals I gave up on. In contrast, the most significant accomplishments in my life required me to commit a tremendous amount of time, effort, and sacrifice. With every endeavor, I have gained more confidence, become more courageous, and learned the value of persevering.

Be confident in who you are, bold in your actions, and committed to your goals. Whether you fail or succeed is a decision that you make. You have a choice. Choose to succeed!

By Asiah Wolfolk-Manning

Asiah Wolfolk-Manning, J.D.

Youth Motivational Speaker

http://www.asiahunlimited.com

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16 Red Flags That Your Teen Needs Counseling

A variety of behavioral and emotional problems afflict teenage youngsters. For example, some of them seem to have great difficulty following rules and behaving in socially acceptable ways.

They are often viewed by other children, adults or social agencies as bad apples, bipolar, ADHD or troublemakers. If your teenager exhibits some of the following behaviors, you should consider counseling for him or her:

1. Hostile or violent behavior toward people or animals,

2. The use of threatening, bullying or intimidating behavior,

3. The starting of fights,

4. Carries a dangerous weapon that could cause serious harm to others.g. a bat, brick, broken bottle, knife or gun),

5. Behaves cruelly, physically or emotionally, to either people or animals,

6. Steals,

7. Highly aggressive or demanding sexually,

8. Destroys property,

9. Sets fires, intending to cause damage,

10. Is deceitful,

11. Has broken into a building, house, or car belonging to someone else,

12. Lies to avoid responsibilities,

13. Shoplifts,

14. Often stays out at night, despite your objections,

15. Has run away from home,

16. Has been truant.

If your child has exhibited any of these behaviors, you should seek a comprehensive evaluation of him by a psychologist. He or she may also have parallel conditions such as a mood disorder, anxiety, PTSD, a substance abuse problem, ADHD, or a thought disorder, all of which should also be evaluated.

Your youngster is likely to have ongoing problems if he or she fails to receive early and comprehensive counseling. Without it, he or she will continue to be unable to adapt to the demands of adulthood.

Unfortunately, he or she will continue to be at high risk for having problems with relationships, school, effective socialization and even maintaining a job. If your kid relishes the breaking of laws and behaves dangerously, numerous factors may be contributing, including brain damage, history of child abuse, genetics, persistent academic failure and/or traumatic life experiences.

Treatment of your son or daughter can be complex and challenging. However, it can be provided in a variety of different settings depending on the severity of the behavior.

Counseling with these kids can be very challenging because they often have an uncooperative attitude and a fear and distrust of adults and other authority figures. In developing a comprehensive treatment plan, a child and adolescent psychologist will likely use information gleaned from your child, your family members, his or her teachers and other behavioral specialists in order to understand the causes of his or her problems.

Counseling and psychotherapy is usually necessary to help your child in appropriately expressing and controlling anger; special education programs may also be needed if he or she has any learning disabilities.

You will probably need expert help in carrying out any special management or educational programs that may be prescribed for use at home or in his or her school. Besides counseling, treatment may also include medication if your youngster has difficulty paying attention, managing his or her impulses or coping with high levels of depression or anxiety.

Treatment may not be brief since establishing new attitudes and behavior patterns for him or her will take time. However, early treatment offers your child a better chance for considerable improvement and hope for a more successful future.

By Dr Michael Shery

Dr Shery is in Cary, IL, near Algonquin, Crystal Lake, Huntley and Barrington. He's an expert psychologist with 30 years experience, provides day, evening and Saturday appts and accepts all local insurance plans. Call 1 847 516 0899 and make an appt or learn more about counseling at: http://www.carypsychology.com

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The Homework Routine That Works

At the beginning of the school year you set the rule: Homework gets finished as soon as you get home from school. But by October, that rule doesn't seem to be as hard and fast as it was in August.

If you don't rein in the lax homework routine, before you know it you'll be hearing those panicked cries at 7:30 a.m. that homework isn't finished. Or worse yet, you'll get the dreaded phone call from the teacher notifying you that your little angel hasn't been turning in her homework. Heaven forbid you don't find out about the missed assignments until you attend parent/teacher conferences!

No worries. The problem doesn't usually lie with formatting a good routine; rather it's with enforcing the routine. If you're fortunate enough to be home with your child after school, it is a little easier to ensure the homework routine is maintained. If you don't see your child for an hour or so after he's been home, you can still follow through.

The rules should be simple enough to leave no room for misunderstandings.

1. Grab an after school snack then start homework.
2. TV stays off until all homework is finished and reviewed for completeness.
3. No extracurricular activity until all homework has been completed.

Number three tends to be a difficult one for parents to enforce. We tend to over book our children's schedule. Number three, no extracurricular activity until all homework has been completed, means just that. It doesn't mean the rule can be relaxed if junior has tae kwon do after school or if Suzy has gymnastics. It doesn't mean its ok to take a pass on number three on days when Johnnie has T-ball practice.

Perhaps you decided that you paid good money for lessons and Suzy, Junior and Johnnie will participate. Okay, but what kind of example is that setting? How about if you take your child to the activity, but she must sit out until the homework has been finished. Then she's welcome to join the other kids on the balance beam.

Remember you still have dinner and a bedtime routine too. Children should worry about being children, not about juggling schedules. Make sure your child has a snack so that his stomach's growling won't be a distraction. After homework is finished he can enjoy what little time is left in the evening. If you stick to rules one, two and three above, you're on track for a great school year!

By Melanie Ropp

Melanie @ http://yourbarefootbooks.blogspot.com

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